As a child, I watched a lot of television. I mainly consumed a regular fare of sitcoms—shows like Full House and Growing Pains. At the time, I probably would have said I liked them because they are funny. Now, I recognize I was drawn to them because they were consistent. Not just consistent in the time they ran each week, but regular in format and character. After just a few episodes, I knew what to expect. I took comfort in their consistency because I couldn’t make sense of the world around me or within me.
At the age of ten, I discovered a growing physical attraction to my male classmates. I didn’t use the word gay or homosexual then because I didn’t know what those words meant. Yet, somehow I knew what I was feeling wasn’t “normal” or “right”. I tried to ignore it and mostly succeeded by immersing myself in my studies and even more television.